Parenting

1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

  • Downloads：6583
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2022-11-10 06:57:21
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Thomas W. Phelan
  • ISBN：149262988X
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
  • Download

Summary

Are you the parent of a strong-willed child？ Is bedtime a nightly battle？ Are you looking to get your kids to behave without yelling？ Whether you have a toddler， preschooler， or school-aged child， this parenting book can help you create a calm， happy home。

Since kids don't come with a manual， 1-2-3 Magic is the next best thing。 Dr。 Thomas Phelan has developed the #1 selling child discipline book in the country - a quick， simple， and scientifically proven way to parent that actually works！

Using his signature counting method， Dr。 Phelan helps parents to quickly， calmly， and effectively stop behaviors like tantrums and meltdowns， whining and pouting， talking back， sibling rivalry and more in toddlers， preschoolers， and middle schoolers。

He guides parents through drama-free discipline methods that will help with:


Getting kids to listen
Dealing with difficult/spirited children
How to discipline a toddler
What to do about sibling rivalry
No drama when you discipline
Dr。 Phelan also covers how you can easily establish positive routines with children ages 2 - 12 around:


Bedtime
Dinnertime
Homework
Getting up and out in the morning
and tips for strengthening your relationship with your kids
Millions of parents from all over the world have used the award-winning 1-2-3 Magic to raise happier families and put the fun back into parenting， combining love and logic to make you a more peaceful parent with a happy kid。

1-2-3 Magic is one of Healthline's Best Parenting Books of 2017， a 2016 Mom's Choice Award Winner， a 2016 National Parenting Product Award Winner and a 2016 Family Choice Award Winner。

Download

Reviews

Liudmila Soboleva ，

A very ambivalent impression。 An army discipline in conditions of hopelessness。 A desperate recipe for turning chaos into something like order。

Natalie Albello ，

Easy read， straightforward。 Im not actually a parent so you can take this with a grain of salt。 But I see some negative reviews and not sure why - the book seems straightforward and very practical for raising good kids。 It seems negative reviewers didnt read the second half of the book。 I will be filing away this books tactics for when I do have kids。

Alicia Shaddix ，

This book was fine。 A few nuggets of wisdom， but nowhere nearly as magical as Boundaries With Kids。

Amanda ，

Easy read。 I thought the principles were actionable and easily adaptable。

whatjordanreads ，

1-2-3 Magic⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️📚 Self help/Parenting🎶 Back at One - Brian McKnight One sentence synopsis:Step by step instructions on effective （tbd） discipline measures for parents and kids。 My review:I went back and forth on if I should post a parenting book review on here （people can be so judgey on how other people parent） but ultimately decided to go for it。 If it helps someone， that’s great！This book is basically a step by step instructions on how to implement a “time out/time in/break time”。 Or how t 1-2-3 Magic⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️📚 Self help/Parenting🎶 Back at One - Brian McKnight One sentence synopsis:Step by step instructions on effective （tbd） discipline measures for parents and kids。 My review:I went back and forth on if I should post a parenting book review on here （people can be so judgey on how other people parent） but ultimately decided to go for it。 If it helps someone， that’s great！This book is basically a step by step instructions on how to implement a “time out/time in/break time”。 Or how to stop behaviors you don’t want。 This might seem ridiculous to some， and as someone that spent the better part of high school and college babysitting all ages， I would have agreed a few years ago。 Then I had a kid。 And everything I knew or thought I knew went out the window。 So basically， the instructions on how to implement a break time for my 2。5 year old were exactly what I was looking for。 I can also report that we started it yesterday， and so far so good… 🤞🏼The time out/time in （stopping bad behavior） is only half the book。 The other half is how to get kids to start good behaviors， like homework， cleaning their rooms， getting up and ready in the morning。 My kid is not old enough for these tactics yet so I can’t report back on their effectiveness。 BUT I did just add this book to my cart on @thriftbooks so I’ll have it for when the time comes。 （I rented this current ebook from @richlandlibrary）I will say this book came off a little preachy at times and didn’t answer all of my questions， so I knocked off a star for all that。 I also got a good giggle from my 🎶 pairing on this one。 Ahhh takes me back！ 。。。more

Lowell Ricketts ，

Wonderful system for stopping obnoxious behavior， starting helpful behavior， and establishing a stronger bond with your family。 It's a fast read and is structured to give the reader what they are most looking for。 Wonderful system for stopping obnoxious behavior， starting helpful behavior， and establishing a stronger bond with your family。 It's a fast read and is structured to give the reader what they are most looking for。 。。。more

Britt Terry ，

It's a bit hokey， but it's clear and so far， the advice is helpful。 It's a bit hokey， but it's clear and so far， the advice is helpful。 。。。more

Ashley Jacobson ，

I listened to this book years ago。 It’s just not my style of parenting。 At all。 This is classical conditioning （thing Pavlov’s dogs） for kids。 Train them to do what you say because they are scared of the consequences。 It works for some kids who need that type of structure， but I still don’t like the looming threat。 As other reviewers say， my goal is to raise kind kids who know how to ask questions and so the right thing because that’s what they want to do and choose to do on their own- not becau I listened to this book years ago。 It’s just not my style of parenting。 At all。 This is classical conditioning （thing Pavlov’s dogs） for kids。 Train them to do what you say because they are scared of the consequences。 It works for some kids who need that type of structure， but I still don’t like the looming threat。 As other reviewers say， my goal is to raise kind kids who know how to ask questions and so the right thing because that’s what they want to do and choose to do on their own- not because they are threatened or scared of authority。But， with all things， I try to take the good and leave what I don’t like。 I do like the chance this gives kids to reset。 That’s important。 They should get another chance to try again。 You can still learn things even from books you don’t agree with。 。。。more

Jeni ，

This book was recommended by my daughter’s counselor。 My daughters have been diagnosed with ASD， ADHD， and anxiety。 This book was definitely not written with those in mind。 I gave this book and honest chance， but ultimately would not recommend it to any parent。 The author is a clinical psychologist。 His method is when your child does something wrong you simply start counting。 If they don’t stop the behavior by the time you count to 3， you send them to their room。 The first half to two thirds of This book was recommended by my daughter’s counselor。 My daughters have been diagnosed with ASD， ADHD， and anxiety。 This book was definitely not written with those in mind。 I gave this book and honest chance， but ultimately would not recommend it to any parent。 The author is a clinical psychologist。 His method is when your child does something wrong you simply start counting。 If they don’t stop the behavior by the time you count to 3， you send them to their room。 The first half to two thirds of this book is over-explaining this concept。 He briefly talks about praising good behavior at the end of the book。 Pros: The author talks about how children are not mini adults， logic and reasoning often do not work when your child is very upset， praise should outnumber negative comments， the importance of a bedtime routine， the importance of listening sympathetically， and involving kids in problem solving through family meetings。 These are the only good things I really got from the book and these are all common sense， surface level parenting tips。Cons: The author seems really out of touch with how kids feel and think。 He focuses on eliminating and controlling “obnoxious behaviors”， but not getting to the root of them。 His reasoning for his methods are to have a “less obnoxious child” and a “peaceful household”， not to raise an emotionally healthy and well rounded child。 Part of his method is to basically give your child three warnings， without explanation， and then send them to their room or other safe place。 Once they are done in there for the set amount of time you do not discuss what they did wrong。 This does not teach them what to do， this only teaches them what not to do。 He says “discuss problems， count attacks”， but doesn’t acknowledge that those “attacks” are often because a child doesn’t know how to verbalize the problem they’re having。 When talking about how to use this method in a store， he actually suggests leaving the child （if they’re old enough） at the registers or at customer service while the parent finishes their shopping！ This is absolutely not ok， like ever。 A child is not the responsibility of the store employees。 He is also frequently condescending when speaking about children saying they are “basically nuts”， that “childhood is a period of transitory psychosis” （a quote he attributes to “another writer”， but I only found it being attributed to him）， and referring to children as monsters， terrorists， devils， etc… He states that children find their parents anger and frustration “satisfying”。 Most often， children find their parents anger and frustration sad， scary， and confusing。 The biggest problem I had was when he was talking about manipulation。 He says that when kids say things like “that’s unfair” or “no one likes me” they’re using martyrdom manipulation。 Most of the time though， kids genuinely feel like what is happening is unfair or that someone doesn’t like them。 Even if it’s not true， they are still feeling that way。 It is our job to help them through those emotions， not just assume they are trying to manipulate us。 Then he goes on to talk about if a child says something suicidal to not always take it seriously based off of if the child is generally happy。 This was the biggest red flag for me。 I have seen first hand what that kind of thinking can lead to。 Suicidal ideation should *always* be taken seriously， even if you think the child is generally happy。Being a clinical psychologist， he has some very outdated and downright dangerous ideals and advice。 While some of the tips in this book are ok， they can definitely be found in other parenting books that don’t also have his outdated ideals。 。。。more

Brandy ，

It gave me a few tips that my husband and I may implement。 And it offered a few tactics that we will not be implementing。

Ashley ，

I can understand why this book is a miss for some people but I found it to be quite helpful。 The framework of no emotion and no talking when counting has been very helpful for me and I think my kids and I both appreciate the time out apart from each other when frustrations are running high。 I read the second half of the book more as a laugh - I especially liked the suggestion that a reward might be letting a kid use a power tool。

Madilynn Dale ，

Great！This was a helpful read。 I've already seen massive changes while implementing it in my own household。 Wow。 Highly recommend and so thankful my friend shared it with me。 Great！This was a helpful read。 I've already seen massive changes while implementing it in my own household。 Wow。 Highly recommend and so thankful my friend shared it with me。 。。。more

Liz De Coster ，

I think the practice makes sense， but a lot of the writing felt very stale and dated so it didn't really feel relevant to big parenting concerns we have。 I think the practice makes sense， but a lot of the writing felt very stale and dated so it didn't really feel relevant to big parenting concerns we have。 。。。more

Tiffany ，

Working like a charm when used correctly。

Mirele Kessous ，

I think this is a great system but the writing a bit outdated so be forewarned。

Meg ，

Dated but useful。 Would be improved by more visual summaries so it could be used as a reference。 Expect we will come back to this again。

Justus ，

This suffers from the typical parenting book flaw of being far too long for what it actually is。 And it is only 220 pages， so that's saying something。This book has two parts。 The first part is how to get you kids to stop doing obnoxious things。 The advice is "counting"。 When they start doing it say "That's one"。 If they keep doing it， then 5 seconds later say "That's two"。 If they keep doing it， then 5 seconds later say "That's three。 Go to your room for a timeout。"That's it。 For 100 pages。 It i This suffers from the typical parenting book flaw of being far too long for what it actually is。 And it is only 220 pages， so that's saying something。This book has two parts。 The first part is how to get you kids to stop doing obnoxious things。 The advice is "counting"。 When they start doing it say "That's one"。 If they keep doing it， then 5 seconds later say "That's two"。 If they keep doing it， then 5 seconds later say "That's three。 Go to your room for a timeout。"That's it。 For 100 pages。 It is， frankly， a ridiculous amount of pointless repetition and elaboration。 What if they're arguing？ Count。 What if they're yelling？ Count。 What if they do it at a supermarket？ Doesn't matter， count。 You get the idea。Wrapped around this is the idea that your discipline should be cold and dispassionate。 These are the rules。 You're not arguing。 You're not explaining。 You're not yelling or wheedling or begging。 You're just counting calmly， giving them a chance to realise the error of their ways， and then following up with clear， systematic， and appropriate punishment。I mean， for what it is， this honestly seems like a pretty good technique to know about， despite the extremely long-winded presentation。I do have some pretty major reservations， though。 The way they suggest applying it feels pretty。。。。cavalier and unfair， I guess？ They give an example: you walk into the living room and see your kid jumping on the couch。 They've never done this before， so there isn't exactly some standing rule of "no jumping on the couch"。 What should you do？ Just out of nowhere start counting， "That's one。" If they stop， confused， and ask "What did I do？" then you can explain。But the bigger problem is。。。the book feels super focused on this kind of controlling behaviour via swift and certain punishment。 No doubt there are times， and families， where that is necessary。 But it feels like it should be one technique among many。 One chapter is a bigger book。Sure， there's the second half of the book which is about how to get your kids to start doing good things （homework， getting ready in the morning， going to bed， etc）。 We get seven techniques with roughly the same amount of space given to them as the single technique for stopping obnoxious behaviour。And it is hard not to be a bit underwhelmed by the seven techniques。 #1） Give praise。 Okay， sometimes the obvious thing isn't obvious。 I get that。 Still。。。。。Or #3） the docking system。 "If you don't do X， then you'll lose Y。" If you don't finish your homework then you lose your PlayStation for a week。 If you forget to walk the dog， you lose $1 from your allowance。Again， just。。。did you need a book to tell to try this？ And also， back to a certain kind of punishment and reward structure。 Overall the book feels like doesn't put enough focus on how to build a good relationship and good habits。 That focus might be appropriate if you're already in crisis mode and just want to solve problems。 But it means this probably shouldn't be your first or only book on parental discipline。So。。。overall fairly underwhelmed and slightly negative。 The book does have some good ideas， especially in the later section。 How to get a kid to eat their vegetables？ Try small portions and kitchen timer， or the 3-out-of-4 rule， or the divide-and-conquer routine。 I like these grab bags of various ideas to try。 It is a fairly stark contrast from the "just do counting" advice of the first half of the book， though。 。。。more

Mandi ，

LOVE this book！ I'm a big believer in systems， especially flexible ones that align with my core values and challenge me。 My counselor recommended this and it's already helped me。 I highly recommend！！ LOVE this book！ I'm a big believer in systems， especially flexible ones that align with my core values and challenge me。 My counselor recommended this and it's already helped me。 I highly recommend！！ 。。。more

Chris ，

Parents， this works。 Take an hour to read it。 It’s easy and straightforward。

Liesel Walker ，

So far the advice is helping。 I have to keep reminding myself to follow the steps。 But they're getting it So far the advice is helping。 I have to keep reminding myself to follow the steps。 But they're getting it 。。。more

Mjaballah ，

A great book if you raising a poodle or perhaps a pigeon。 Absolutely awful if you are raising little human beings。 Not a fan of how extreme the book goes in the direction of controlling children’s behaviour。 Behaviourism to the extreme。

Kristin ，

Not my style of parenting - I prefer a less authoritative approach， one that doesn't punish my children for my own reaction to or annoyance with their actions。 I'd rather react to the good they do， ignore the annoyances， and gently correct mistakes。 Not my style of parenting - I prefer a less authoritative approach， one that doesn't punish my children for my own reaction to or annoyance with their actions。 I'd rather react to the good they do， ignore the annoyances， and gently correct mistakes。 。。。more

Ethon O'Brien ，

This is a book every parent needs to read。 Changed my relationship with my son for the better。 He listens to me better and is overall a happier child。 Wish I'd read it years ago and not wasted all that time on old fashioned， reactive parenting handed down through generations。 If you feel you're struggling to parent your child in any way this book has solutions for every situation imaginable。 Definitely going to recommend it to every parent I know This is a book every parent needs to read。 Changed my relationship with my son for the better。 He listens to me better and is overall a happier child。 Wish I'd read it years ago and not wasted all that time on old fashioned， reactive parenting handed down through generations。 If you feel you're struggling to parent your child in any way this book has solutions for every situation imaginable。 Definitely going to recommend it to every parent I know 。。。more

K Aust ，

Excellent and effective discipline advice。 I’ve already seen such an improvement in my own parenting after a few days。 Unlike some parenting books （ahem Karp）， it’s not mostly fluff- there’s a ton of useful content here。 This is especially good if you are easily irritated or struggle with patience; as he says， this is as much a check on parental misbehavior as the child’s。4。5 stars （docking a half star for a bizarre and ugly comment about children at church）。

Katie Wirig ，

This book really is a great tool for getting kids to obey， especially those who might have ADHD， ODD， OCD or any other extenuating circumstance。 I have found the tools really do work。 The problem is the writing and reading （I did the audiobook） and condescending and off putting。 If you can make it through that you can learn great things！

Kwasi ，

If ibhad children and effective practice it I would give it a 5Use this with my god children I get effective responses from them

Rachel O’Connor ，

A straight forward read， full of reasonable and manageable advice for navigating tricky parenting challenges。

Heidi ，

Refreshing to read a parenting book that has pragmatic advice and doesn't make me feel guilty for having to be a working mom。 Refreshing to read a parenting book that has pragmatic advice and doesn't make me feel guilty for having to be a working mom。 。。。more

John Richard ，

I actually don’t necessarily disagree with a good portion of the methods explained in the book， I just really didn’t like the way he talked about them and the reasons he gave behind the methods。 （I’m also like 98% sure my parents must have read this or a similar book）So yea， avoiding being emotional or verbally abusive is obviously a positive when disciplining your child—but literally being entirely silent and not really saying anything except counting seems a bit extreme。 one of his main “reaso I actually don’t necessarily disagree with a good portion of the methods explained in the book， I just really didn’t like the way he talked about them and the reasons he gave behind the methods。 （I’m also like 98% sure my parents must have read this or a similar book）So yea， avoiding being emotional or verbally abusive is obviously a positive when disciplining your child—but literally being entirely silent and not really saying anything except counting seems a bit extreme。 one of his main “reasons” behind all this was so that you’d have a less annoying/obnoxious child so you can enjoy them more and have a more peaceful household…。which is a pretty selfish reason。 His sarcasm wasn’t really funny at all but borderline offensive。 Would have been interesting to read the “Christian” version I saw exists。 All that to say though， a lot of the points/methods， habit-building， charting， counting， etc all I think are decent methods and can have their place—but should be accompanied with some more talking/training/walking alongside as well。 For being a psychologist， he seemed like more of a pragmatic engineer in a lot of ways with his “formulas x-y-z for success” and not really caring about people’s （like your children’s） feelings as much as he could。 I think he’d be a pretty bad counselor or someone who deals with deeper issues of the heart。 。。。more

Kayleigh ，

This is honestly the only realistic parenting book I've ever read。 Very simple tactics with major results！ It has already started making a difference in our home 🥰 This is honestly the only realistic parenting book I've ever read。 Very simple tactics with major results！ It has already started making a difference in our home 🥰 。。。more

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0